A photo Tribute to my son Robert

[Almark]

This is a very short AV. The photos are from scanned prints from when Robert was just a child. Although he was 29 when he died, my wife and I love to savour these great times. We had hoped to use these images at his wedding, just for a bit of fun. Indeed I had most of this all ready to go, but sadly I have changed it from a 'wind up' at his future wedding, to simply a parents photo tribute of when Robert was young.

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Life and Death are a mystery.

One day, my son Robert said he felt a bit ‘strange’

two minutes later, it had passed and was forgotten.

One day later, Robert sat down in his bathroom and went to sleep.

He didn’t wake up and no one knows why.

Death is a mystery.

I didn’t know he needed me, I was elsewhere.

I was on top of a hill; admiring a beautiful view and sunset and

musing over of the minor pleasures of life, I thought

“life can’t get much better than this”.

Suddenly screaming, someone had sought solace

in a bottle of sweet sherry and sixty paracetamol.

The young man kept swallowing his tongue,

choking on his sick and – dying.

It took me almost two hours to get him to hospital,

but he survived.

Life is a mystery.

One day later, I discovered that I knew his father.

He phoned to offer his heartfelt thanks;

the hospital docs told him it was a very close call,

another 30 minutes, and his son Mark would have died.

One week later I found my son Robert,

sitting and waiting patiently for me to find him.

At St Mark’s, as I sang ‘Abide with me’ and ‘All things bright and beautiful’,

I found special meanings in almost every verse.

Life and Death are a mystery.

Four Marks:

Robert Mark Allen: 1979 – 2009

Marc Robbins: 1984 –

Mark Allen: 1959 -

St Mark’s Church of Ireland, Dundela, Belfast.

Man Plans, God Laughs

http://www.markallenphotography.co.uk/mark...ries/robert.exe

I have also created an on-line memorial page using the 'gone too soon' web site. If you have time please visit and light a candle.

You can visit the site here.

[Almark]

I want to thank all members who have, privately, sent me emails. I fully realise that this is not in any way a 'normal AV'. It is just my way of coming to terms with my grief. Please forgive me for using (or abusing) the forum in this way.

Mark

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Christmas 2009 was grim, but we were helped somewhat by the kind words, by email, from many PTE Forum members. My wife and I want to thank all you who, privately, sent us words of encouragement and support. It was very much appreciated.

Thank you.

[Almark]

As you can imagine the 'Happy New Year' was just as sad as Christmas. Since my last post I have received, privately, a number of messages from PTE forum members.

Some were short and simple, others were lengthy and detailed the empathy of similar situations. I am fully aware that we are not alone in our grief. Indeed: I have 'only' lost a son, but one member outlined how he had lost two children, two years apart.

Many of the emails brought tears. As I read them out to my wife, she asked - who are these guys? I tried to explain what the PTE Forum was about and that while I had never met them in person we had been in touch exchanging views and comments about our PTE slideshows. I must tell you all that she was incredulous, that simply because I had offered some feedback on the forum that folk would want to go out of their way to offer their thoughts (and sometimes - prayers.) Indeed some members had seen this thread and felt that they should just say something.

So, again may I thank you all for allowing me to use the forum as a way of coming to terms that Robert is gone and will not be coming back. And may I again thank those who have offered support. It has and continues to help us.

[Almark]

I recently meet the young man I had saved from killing himself with drink and drugs. (That I allude to in my poem above.)

It was an accidental meeting, I met his father and he suddenly said "of course you know Marc", indicating his son beside him. We stood in silence for a while, it felt like minutes, then he came across and gave me a hug. He couldn't say anything and walked away in a hurry. But the hug said it all! His dad then said, 'that's a first! He never hugs anyone!"

Some good news to a sad story.

[Almark]

A year has now past, the first anniversary of his death was grim.

People expect the family to get over, or come to terms, with bereavement after a year.

This was true when my parents passed away, and other friends / colleagues, and so on.

But when you are pre-deceased by your children, it doesn't work that way.

Quite simply, life will never be the same.

The PTE AV is still on-line here

I have also created an on-line memorial page using the 'gone too soon' web site. If you have time please visit and light a candle.

You can visit the site here.