An Upgrade is Near!

[quietstorm]

So you are looking to upgrade,

Tell you what my friend,

I'll relate one of my stories,

So you can defend,

Against all of the annoyances,

And all the bad times,

Why don't you keep reading,

My upgrade rhyme.

A new Hard Drive, graphics card, CD-ROM, and case,

Just to take the lead in the Jones's race,

A new Motherboard, CPU, new Memory too,

I stared on in horror as this evil bill grew,

Pentium 4-1.8 gigahertz!

What? I exclaimed as my headache got worse,

Won't run '98! I screamed with a gasp,

My favorite operating system, obsolete at last.

Here is a nice one, it has 'Intel Inside',

The salesman said as he swelled up with pride,

AMD, Cyrix, are last of the bunch,

It is now that damned Intel that packs the most punch,

A punch to the wallet I found out real fast,

My budget discarded, as they eyed my cash,

A new stick of RAM and a floppy drive too?

Why is it that my old stuff simply won't do?

'Oh' I said as I became more confused,

So much for keeping my old Pentium 2.

'All of the new ones use Pentium 4',

The shop-keeper said as I looked for the door,

No! I thought desperately as I looked around,

A 'budget' computer was not to be found!

Around this time I felt somewhat groggy,

And my memory of events is a little bit foggy,

I left the store in a rapture and with a rather large bill,

And a hole in my bank account my paycheck wouldn't fill.

When I hear someone mention an upgrade or two,

My brain starts to hurt, and I feel so confused,

To this day I cannot remember the lines I was fed,

Yet I still feel a shiver, and quiver with dread,

Don't get me wrong, the computer is great,

But if you don't need it, I advise you to wait,

Because soon enough a new one comes out,

And all the consumers will be heard to shout,

'But I just bought this one, and it's obsolete?'

I fear it is true my friends, it happened last week.

As computers get better, and cheaper to build,

It is we, the consumer, who must foot the bill,

As far as speed goes we shout 'We need more!',

Which is dictated to us, by the software stores,

It's a vicious cycle, this computer upgrade,

Once we complete it, all-new parts are made,

They are much faster, and better we're told,

So if we don't upgrade, we're out in the cold,

When you want to upgrade think of this rhyme,

And remember my advice to just bide your time.

Remember an upgrade is just to go faster,

And try to block out the fat cat's grim laughter,

For if you do not and you listen out of fear,

You will hear the hardware fat cat whisper 'An upgrade is near',

For all of my nay-saying, and doom filled rhyme,

I must say an upgrade can be good time to time,

Just do not obsess with the latest cool gear,

Or you will forever hear whispers 'An upgrade is near'

[Guest Yachtsman1]

So you are looking to upgrade,

Tell you what my friend,

I'll relate one of my stories,

So you can defend,

Against all of the annoyances,

And all the bad times,

Why don't you keep reading,

My upgrade rhyme.

A new Hard Drive, graphics card, CD-ROM, and case,

Just to take the lead in the Jones's race,

A new Motherboard, CPU, new Memory too,

I stared on in horror as this evil bill grew,

Pentium 4-1.8 gigahertz!

What? I exclaimed as my headache got worse,

Won't run '98! I screamed with a gasp,

My favorite operating system, obsolete at last.

Here is a nice one, it has 'Intel Inside',

The salesman said as he swelled up with pride,

AMD, Cyrix, are last of the bunch,

It is now that damned Intel that packs the most punch,

A punch to the wallet I found out real fast,

My budget discarded, as they eyed my cash,

A new stick of RAM and a floppy drive too?

Why is it that my old stuff simply won't do?

'Oh' I said as I became more confused,

So much for keeping my old Pentium 2.

'All of the new ones use Pentium 4',

The shop-keeper said as I looked for the door,

No! I thought desperately as I looked around,

A 'budget' computer was not to be found!

Around this time I felt somewhat groggy,

And my memory of events is a little bit foggy,

I left the store in a rapture and with a rather large bill,

And a hole in my bank account my paycheck wouldn't fill.

When I hear someone mention an upgrade or two,

My brain starts to hurt, and I feel so confused,

To this day I cannot remember the lines I was fed,

Yet I still feel a shiver, and quiver with dread,

Don't get me wrong, the computer is great,

But if you don't need it, I advise you to wait,

Because soon enough a new one comes out,

And all the consumers will be heard to shout,

'But I just bought this one, and it's obsolete?'

I fear it is true my friends, it happened last week.

As computers get better, and cheaper to build,

It is we, the consumer, who must foot the bill,

As far as speed goes we shout 'We need more!',

Which is dictated to us, by the software stores,

It's a vicious cycle, this computer upgrade,

Once we complete it, all-new parts are made,

They are much faster, and better we're told,

So if we don't upgrade, we're out in the cold,

When you want to upgrade think of this rhyme,

And remember my advice to just bide your time.

Remember an upgrade is just to go faster,

And try to block out the fat cat's grim laughter,

For if you do not and you listen out of fear,

You will hear the hardware fat cat whisper 'An upgrade is near',

For all of my nay-saying, and doom filled rhyme,

I must say an upgrade can be good time to time,

Just do not obsess with the latest cool gear,

Or you will forever hear whispers 'An upgrade is near'

My feelings precisely, it's even worse for us troglodytes who have to use a laptop.

Yachtsman1.